Monday, January 13, 2014

Buying our First Home :: The Challenging and Frustrating Emotional Rollercoaster

Buying a house is one of the most challenging experiences I've gone through. Not actually finding options or making the decision to offer, but the actual buying process.

Once you know your budget and what you are looking for, you can search until the cows come home-that is if they managed to find a home! But after that, it is a matter of compromising on your "must-haves" with your better half. Surprisingly enough, P & I were very much on the same page. Our strongest concern being location.

Once we were looking at spaces, we would point out things we liked to each other and P would rely on me to point out what could become of the space once we put our spin on it. This was the fun part. The process of exercising my imagination, and dreaming of our homes to be.

Falling in love with a space is something I am familiar with. In fact I fall in love with spaces all the time. The beauty of their architecture, the curve of their lines, the colors, the lighting, the space. But falling in love with a property that you want to own, and turn those beautiful bones into the shell of the starting of your life with someone. That is something new.

And fall for a space I did. The first place we saw actually. It was a lovely condo, just the right size in a pre war building in the exact neighborhood we both loved. Everything about that space was gorgeous. Unfortunately, after deciding to make our offer, and going through the early steps, we found out that we couldn't live in that lovely little condo.

That lovely little condo that I had planned our furniture in. That lovely little condo that I had envisioned painting with specific paints. That lovely little condo with the beautiful windows, and the way the walls sloped softly to meet the high ceiling. I really did love it. And when we found out that we couldn't move in-it was heart breaking. But we had to move on.

So we began looking again. This time we saw a few more places, and found a space that was so big, and so affordable, that it seemed we had to consider it. And so we did. Admittedly, I didn't love it. It was still a great old building, but it was a row house, not a condo, and it needed a lot of work-the type of work that doesn't make it prettier, but makes it stronger & safer. The type of work that takes a lot of cash.

Unfortunately, although we were willing to work with the house, and make it our home for some time to come, the sellers were on cloud 9 dreaming about what they could get for the place, and unfortunately weren't willing to even give us an inch. So we decided to walk away.

This time, it wasn't heartbreaking. But it was hard. We felt like here we go again... will we ever find the right place?!

So now we are still looking. I think we have seen something like two dozen homes, and it is hard. It is exhausting. It is time consuming. And unfortunately it is an emotional roller coaster.

Hopefully I will have an update soon, but in the meanwhile, we continue to go through the motions to find the home that we will start our marriage, and hopefully in a few years our family in too.

The only take away here is that everything happens for a reason. It truly does, and that is something that P & I feel strongly about. There is a master plan, and these first two places weren't meant to be. Hopefully the third time is the charm, but we know that no matter what happens, it will work out for the best. Ultimately we are optimists, and we have faith.

And for those of you out there dealing with this same chaotic process, stay firm on your budget and the things that are important to you, but be flexible, and be willing to fall in love with the home of your dreams. Just remember that the home for you is out there, and it could take a day or a year to find it, but your persistence will pay off!


  1. Oh, I am so sorry about the house search. It can get very overwhelming. Maybe it is a blessing that J and I have very short notice on when/where we are moving, and have to cram in the house search in a weekend. And then, we also know that the house we are looking for doesn't have to be our "forever" just has to be good enough for right now, or at least a couple of years. If it makes it can pretend that you live in our reality!
    Good luck sweetie!

  2. I'm pretty sure I've told you that I house-hunted for YEARS and never meant for this to be more than a starter home. But we love the location, so... we're still here and are quite content. Hang in there and stay open and positive.